Monday, August 10, 2009

Help Name my Mom's Kitten

Meet my Mom's new baby. She rescued him this weekend as this little guy is the offspring of a barn cat. There are lots of dangers lurking about for a kitten on the fringe of the city. There are coyotes, owls, and hawks skulking about a barnyard. My Mom has been wanting a cat for a while and this cutie resembles a cat we had named Bartholomew. He's a polydactyl, which means he has six toes. He also has blue eyes.

The Naming Of Cats by T. S. Eliot
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

Now when this handsome little fella came home this weekend she first called him E.T. (Extra Toes). I told her I didn't really like that name. She said she liked Sammy. I liked Sammy and thought she could call him Sammy Six Toes or Sammy Sixty Six. Every good mobster kitty needs a solid nickname. Well today she told me his name is Tapo. That would be TAP (like the faucet) OH. What? Huh?! Does that mean something in some language? Nope, it's the name of the Canyon the barn is located in. My problem is that Tapo is neither pretty, nor dignified, nor special, or even cute. (On a side note: It's the animal hating husband that insists on giving this cute kitty the ugliest name he can think of. Animal haters shouldn't be allowed to have a say in the name, don't you think? They really don't have the talent for it. Okay...he's not exactly an animal hater but he is definitely not an animal lover. On the animal lover scale...10 being you LOVE animals...he's a two) The situation is very complicated as you can see. As Mr. Eliot expressed in his poem, the naming of cats is a difficult matter and so I turn to you.

I ask you to take a good look at this magnificent creature and please leave a suggestion or two of name worthy of this feline. Please no entries that rhyme with taco.

For an added incentive, if your name prevails to persuade and encourage my Mother's to change the name to yours I will personally send you a token of great appreciation.

Now give it your best shot as my Mom can be slightly willful, but I believe deep down she would like a better name too. No creature should be stuck with the name Tap-o, or Tappy, or T.P. for the rest of it's life. What? You know, you've got to give it a nickname. It just happens.

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